


Collision Course

by retrolily



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Female Friendship, Female Protagonist, Female Relationships, Male-Female Friendship, Original Character(s), Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Reunions, Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-05-04 22:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14603094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retrolily/pseuds/retrolily
Summary: The path you're on, was always headed to one place. You may not realize it now, but it was always inevitable. You're going to crash right into him. Whether you want to or not...





	1. Intro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Google extension that replaces all Y/N with your name automatically: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/interactivefics/pcpjpdomcbnlkbghmchnjgeejpdlonli
> 
> Also an option to add Y/L/N.

CAST  
  
_You as Y/N  
_

_Oscar Isaac as Poe Dameron_  
_Adam Driver as Kylo Ren_

 _Gal Gadot as Leader Marisa_  
  Holland Roden _as Artemis_

 _Daisy Ridley as Rey_  
_John Boyega as Finn_

_..._

 

If your life was a film, you never would consider yourself a main character. At least a few years ago, you wouldn't have.

The dutiful best friend perhaps. The side character. You faded into the background, but to be honest, you didn’t mind it. Most people did. Only a rare few were unique. Had names that could conjure things like excitement, hope, or even fear in whoever spoke them.

 Your ex boyfriend was one of them.

 _Ben Solo_. Someone you never expected to meet, yet alone fall for. Although being the son of the infamous Han Solo and Leia Organa made him somewhat of a celebrity in itself, you never expected everything that came after.

Like your boyfriend becoming one of the most feared members of the Knights of Ren and earning the nickname “Jedi Killer”. You think it was safe to say that bumped you up into main character category. Or pretty close to it. When people found out, you sometimes found it hard to blend in after that. The way they would stare at you. It made you just want to disappear. You didn’t like being the centre of attention. You didn’t like being gawked at.

The first time someone ever recognized you was four years ago. It was a girl named Deena who you knew from a few years back. You were home on Allaria for the first time in a while, when you heard out of nowhere… “Hey, I know that girl. She use to date **_Kylo Ren_**.” How messed up was that? She only knew you as the girl who Ben dated before he was Kylo. Maybe saw you two together before you left with him for the Jedi Temple, but she couldn’t even recall your name. Despite the fact that you lived in the same village for years or studied at the same primary school. Or that she once asked you to her birthday when she was twelve after most of her friends didn’t show. You were just _the girlfriend_.

You weren’t surprised though. It was expected.

The girl, Deena and her friend looked at you. Partial intrigue. Partial fear. From that day forward, you pledged never to tell anyone. You weren't just the girl who dated Kylo Ren. You were Y/N Y/L/N and if someone didn't recognize you as that, you'd prefer they didn't recognize you at all.


	2. Takodana

**_Takodana_ **

Leia glances behind at you from the front of the ship where she stands looking out over the horizon as you are about to land. The fighting on Takodana was pretty much over. The First Order, retreated for now. She gives you a small smile, but it doesn’t comfort you at all. You can see the worry in her eyes, though she tries to hide it.  You watch as the ship lowers. The transport doors open, letting the bright, almost blinding light inside the ship.

Leia, along with members of the Resistance, walk out without hesitation or caution. You stand to the far right, behind one of the Resistance guards who stays behind. As you watch Leia exit from the dark interior of the ship. That’s when you see her stop and exactly what had caused her to do so. _Han Solo_.

Suddenly C-3P0 bursts into view, exiting the ship and interrupting their moment…blubbering nonsense and Han looks ticked off as usual. You see BB-8 and hope that means Poe is nearby and you’ll see him back at the base.

You chuckle slightly to yourself. Eventually C-3P0 excuses himself and takes BB-8 with him. You watch Han and Leia banter like old times with a smile on your face. It reminds you of when things were different. You stand there, not to eavesdrop, but to wait until they are finished before you make your presence known, but you can’t help but overhear.

“I saw him,” you hear Han say in a hushed voice. “Leia, I saw our son.” Your heart stops. Although quiet, you can hear the heartache and dread in Han’s voice. “He was here.” You don’t get to see Leia’s face, but you know her so well by now, you can almost feel her pain. It was a specific restrained type of pain.

 _ _Ben was here,__  you thought. On this planet. Just minutes before you had arrived. You were the closest to him you’d ever been in years. You didn’t know how to feel about it. Happy. Sad. Afraid? You heard all he had been up to over the years, but somehow you’ve managed to avoid being near him until now.

You finally step out into the light. You don’t know why. To let your presence be known. So Han might say more. So they don’t say anything else you might not what to hear?

Han stops speaking as he glances behind Leia and spots you. You know that for a moment his thoughts are racing when he realizes you are also here, but he gives you a small nod of acknowledgement despite them. You can tell he wants to smile, but can’t quite bring himself to. This isn’t exactly a happy occasion. You don’t know if he stopped speaking because he realizes you heard what he had said or because of your presence. He turns back to Leia, who turns around as they both begin to walk toward the ramp.

 “I didn’t know she was with you,” you see him whisper to her quietly. Leia looks as if she is about to say something, but stops when she realizes you might hear.

 “Let’s get to the base, huh,” Han says, this time loud enough for you to hear.

 He guides Leia towards the ramp with his arm around her and is about to turn to leave to his own ship, before you stop him.

 “Do you mind if I ride with you?” you ask him, stepping completely into view.

 Han and Leia both stop and look at you. Then at each other. They exchange glances, but you don’t read into it. Whatever they are thinking or assuming about you, you don’t care. You glance at Leia’s face and see her give an encouraging nod her head towards Han. At first, Han still looks a little taken aback by your request, but then he smiles. “Of course,” he says.

 You don’t know if he actually wants you to come or if he is just being polite. You nod and smile as you walk over to meet him.

You use to be a lot closer, but well it was different since Ben turned. Things we made even more awkward between you when he overheard you bawling your eyes out a few years ago. After that night at the Temple and fleeing from Ben, you eventually found Leia and Han again. After explaining all that had happened, they didn’t hesitate to take you in again. One night you just gave in. You didn’t mean to be so loud. You had kept everything until then. For their sake. Then, it just all came out. Han entered your room upon hearing you. He was hesitant at first, but eventually consoled you. Maybe in some way it helped to console him. You’ve never seen him cry before but you could tell he was hurt by all that had happened. You eventually calmed down. Fell straight asleep. You didn’t want to talk about it the next day. Han never brought it up either, but the next stop they made, you told them you were going your own way.

Gosh, it sounded so pathetic thinking about it now. He was _their_ son for God's sake. You promised that if you ever were to cry, you would make sure it wasn’t in front of them. You didn’t want to be one of those pathetic girlfriends thinking they were more important than they actually were. It wasn't like you were his wife.. but after the revelation you made that night, you realized you deserved a good cry. You would forever be connected to Ben no matter how you tried to deny it.

“Come on, Y/N,” Han says, waving you over, before continuing towards the Falcon. You quickly follow.

As you pass, Leia gives you a small rub on the back. “See you soon, sweetheart,” she says.


	3. Because of You

You slowly explore the ship, quietly thinking to yourself. You wanted to tell them so bad, but you never could. Not Leia and not Han before he left. Now that Han was here again after 5 years you wanted to tell him in case he left again and you never got the chance. You just didn’t know how to bring it up. And if you did, who’s to say they wouldn’t hate you for what you did and keeping it from them.

 A familiar beeping catches your attention.

 “Hey BB-8,” you say. You never could understand what that the hell that droid was saying. You were one of the few. It frustrated you at times.

 He beeps again. This time sounding dejected.

“I know, little guy,” you say, agreeing. You are staring absentmindedly with your arms folded, when suddenly you feel a human presence beside you.

“Hey, you’re with the Resistance, right?” someone asks. You turn to the dark skinned boy beside you.

“Uh, yeah,” you reply. You hope he doesn’t think you are more important than you actually are. One thing you know for sure is that he probably has no idea you even know Kylo Ren.

“I’m Finn,” he says, extending his hand out to you. You reach out and shake his hand.

“Y/N,” you say. You didn’t know there was another passenger on the ship besides Chewie. It made you curious. “How do you know Han…if you don’t mind me asking?”

“We kind of ended up on his ship. Rey and I. She’s a friend,” he sighs. “… but she was taken. By Kylo Ren,” he adds.

You pause, slightly angling yourself away from Finn, unsure of what to say.

“We’ll get her back though,” he says like he’s trying to convince himself.

It gets silent for a moment. “So what’s your story then?” Finn asks.

“Mine?” you question. You don’t know why you didn’t assume he would ask yours as well.

“You and the General seem close,” he notes.

You bite your lip. You wanted to say “not really”, but you knew that was obviously untrue. Leia was so formal with most people...especially after losing her son.. Of course a pat on the back wouldn’t go unnoticed.

“She helped me through a really tough time a few years ago. And not too long ago, she helped me start my pilot training.”

“That’s cool,” Finn says.

Finn goes to the back of the ship to retrieve something. He walks back out and is wearing a jacket you recognize immediately. Your body tenses.

“Where did you get that jacket?” you ask right away.

“Uh it’s a long story,” he answers.

“Tell me,” you insist.

“A guy named Poe. I helped him escape the First Order. We crashed on Jakku and well…he didn’t make it.”

 You immediately turn away and walk from Finn, leaving him confused and head toward the back of the ship. Poe is dead? Tears streaming, you turn into a corner of the ship and sink to your knees. You don’t want to believe that or accept that. Poe is one of the strongest, most resourceful people you know. Fearless and heroic and more determined than anyone you had ever known. He can’t be dead.

Then you hear Finn’s voice. “Hey, Y/N. Are you alright?”

He finds you and sees you in a ball on the floor. You quickly wipe your face.

“You knew him?” he asks.

You ignore his question. “Did you see him die?” you ask, softly. “See his body?”

“Not exactly,” Finn says. Then he explains from the beginning, everything that happened with Poe.

**D'QAR - Resistance Base**

When Han finally lands you hang back a bit after everyone else is gone. You hear muffled voices outside. Excitement and urgency, but you drown them out. Poe may be dead and you were about to do battle against you ex boyfriend. You felt like things couldn’t get any worse.

After finally exiting the Falcon, you make your way to the command centre inside the base. You see everyone gathered around Leia and then you spot a familiar head of thick black hair.

Thank God. It was Poe. You couldn’t stand to lose anyone else. Then you hear Leia’s voice: “We're desperate for anything you can tell us,” she says to Finn.

 You get closer and make eye contact with Poe. He breaks away from the group once he spots you. His eyes are focused as he quickly walks over to you. You continue walk to meet him halfway, but he raises a hand to tell you not to. So you stop and wait.

“Y/N,” he says your name as he approaches.

“Poe. Thank God you’re alive,” you say with a smile on your face. “Finn said…”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he says quickly. “Can we talk?” he asks. His voice is serious.

You nod. “Yeah, of course.” You reach for his hand, but he moves it just out of your reach, as he keeps walking to lead you just outside the command centre.

Then he stops and turns around. “Do you know what **__he__**  said to me?” Poe asks, forcefully.

For a moment, you’re confused. You are about to question Poe, but the longer you stare at him makes you realize. It all starts to click. You remember how Finn said that Poe had been captured by the First Order. He must mean…

“ _ _You’re with her?__ That’s what he asked,” Poe finishes. “He looked into my mind and saw **_you_**. Almost killed me because of **__you__**.”

You don’t know what to say. This was exactly what you didn’t want to happen.

“He finally said your name, and I realized what he meant. That’s when he started using the force on me. Lucky he stopped when he did.” Poe adds.

“Poe, I -” you try to say, but he cuts you off.

“I wouldn’t expect General Organa to tell me the truth, but YOU,” he says, exasperatedly. “I asked how you knew the General. Why she asked me to help you. You told me you were just a family friend and I believed you,” he shouts.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “It wasn’t easy for me to just admit something like that," you explain. "I was afraid. Embarrassed...I don’t know. I just wanted to forget.”

“Not good enough, Y/N." Poe shakes his head. "You’d think I’d want to know my girlfriend use to date Kylo Ren. I don’t know,” he shrugs. “Just maybe I might want to know something like that, huh?"

“Ok. You’re right. I shouldn’t have lied.” You acknowledge.

"Yeah," Poe nods. Then he sighs. “Look, I know we can’t really deal with this now so, I’ll leave it for the moment since we have more pressing matters." He pauses. "I can’t focus on that and be mad at you.”

“I really I am sorry,” you say again.

“I know." He finally takes your hand into his. "I have to get back." He says, before releasing you to head back over to the group. You follow closely beside him.


	4. A Risk

The plan is to disable the thermal oscillator on the First Order’s base, in hopes of shutting down their weapon. It's risky. The planet could go along with it meaning anyone on it, needed to get out of dodge as soon as it was done.

Han would fly there with Chewie and Finn. Finn would need to disable the shields first, which was the only way the oscillator could be penetrated at all. Of course they probably also needed to rescue Rey, that girl Finn said was captured by Ben.

Everyone splits up to prepare to perform their assigned jobs. Leia calls Han back, but you don’t think anything of it and continue walking where you run into Artemis.

* * *

After requesting that Han stay back, Leia turns to him. “Take her with you, please,” she says.

He glances at Y/N behind him, then looks at his wife, preparing to question her, but instead he just nods. He knows why Leia wants her there.

“If you really think it might help,” he says. “I’ll take her.”

“Thank you,” Leia says. She grows concerned noticing Han’s refusal to leave.

“What is it?” she asks teasingly, with a small grin.

“So her and the pilot, huh?” Han asks, gruffly. He saw you two together talking. He isn’t upset or anything. It just took him by surprise.

“Poe. Yes. He’s a good man,” Leia adds. “But their relationship is irrelevant. I just think that perhaps seeing both of you together might do Ben some good."

Han nods.

“OK then…I should get going, but I’ll find you before you leave.”

“Thank you,” Leia says again as Han heads to the door to help prepare for his journey.

* * *

“Hey you,” Artemis exclaims, with a large smile as she approaches you. Her red hair flopping from side to side from her messy ponytail as she approaches. “How was Takonada?”

Artemis is the first friend you made here after arriving on D’qar. She was like you and new to all of this Resistance stuff. You were pretty much trained alongside one another. You were both technically a part of the Resistance, you just didn’t have enough training to be assigned anywhere officially yet. Instead, you both were kind of like interns who were required to help out at any station whenever asked by your base leader. In both of your cases, it was Marisa.

“The attack was pretty much over when we arrived,” you reply. “The destruction was pretty bad though. Maz’s castle was left in ruins I know that much…”

“At least you weren’t hurt.”

“Yeah,” you sigh in agreement.

Artemis hesitates. “Um…Did you happen to see Kylo Ren at all?” You can hear the apprehension in her voice.

You utter a quiet no, unable to make eye contact with her as you do.

“I was just curious…Would have been so scary if you had…” she trails off. “So... now that you’re back, do you want to stick with me during all of this? Farrah and I will be by Station 3. We can stress out together.”

You watch as Han passes you on his way out toward the exit.

“Yeah, of course,” you say to her. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Leia approaching the two of you.

“Hello, ladies,” she says to you both.

“General,” Artemis replies.

Leia nods, then turns to you. “Y/N, I’ve asked Han to take you along with him to the Starkiller Base this afternoon.”

You note the surprise on Artemis’ face before turning back to the General.

“Are you sure?” you ask.

“Of course I am,” Leia replies, thoughtfully.

You nod your head. “OK…OK no problem,” you agree.

When the General leaves and is out of earshot, Artemis faces you. “OK that’s weird…Why in the world would she ask you to go?” she questions.

You shrug like you don’t already know.

“Is Poe going to be there as well?” Artemis asks.

“No,” you answer. “I’m pretty sure he’’ll be in his X-Wing helping to take down the oscillator.”

“Then why would she want you there?”

“No idea. Just to help out maybe,” you lie. “Experience?”

“On one of the riskiest missions to date?” Artemis asks.

You can’t think of anything else to tell her, that will somehow make her believe it isn’t a big deal. “Yeah, sorry I won’t be able to hang back with you,” you say.

“It’s fine,” she assures you after a moment. “This is a once in a lifetime chance I guess. You could help potentially save us all. If that happens, everyone will know your name, right?”

Artemis was right. Being a part of this mission would make you a part of history. You’d be one of the Resistance members who helped to destroy the Starkiller Base, along Han Solo, Finn, Chewie and the many other pilots that will attack it...But you couldn’t think about that right now. All you could think was: _What if I see him there? What if I run into Ben?_

“Just be safe, Y/N and remember to tell me all about it when you get back,” Artemis adds, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Of course,” you agree.

“Before I forget, Marisa was asking for you earlier …This was before you left with General Organa for Takodana.”

“Marisa? Why? Did she have a job for me?” you ask.

“Not sure,” Artemis admits.

"How did she look?"

"She seemed mad..." Artemis says. "So considering she usually looks that way, I have no idea what it could mean."

You wonder why Marisa would need to see you. Since things with the First Order started picking up again, she was always so busy at one of the Tech stations. She barely had the time to send you or Artemis around as of late.

After leaving Artemis, you go back to your dorm to collect a few things to take for the journey. You don’t like not being prepared. So that means clothes, snacks and water of course. Also, the blaster Poe gave you. You sling your backpack over your shoulder and make your way outside. Chewie and Finn must already be on the Falcon because Han waves you over in the distance.

You nod and start heading over to him.

Suddenly, Poe calls out from behind you.

“Hey, Y/N!” You glance behind you to see Poe walking away from his X-Wing to jog over to you. “Where are you off to?” Poe asks. Any other day, Poe might have been giving you a slick smile as he asked, but not today. His face is stern and suspicious. Rightfully so, after you lied to him before. He is obviously still skeptical of you.

“Um, the Millennium Falcon,” you reply simply, as you have a feeling he already knows the answer.

Poe shakes his head. “No way…You’re not going with them.” His dismissive attitude bothers you, but it doesn’t surprise you at all.

“Well the General wants me there,” you interject.

“Well, I don’t,” he says, folding his arms. “Not sure that’ll mean much to you anyway…”

You decide to ignore that last part. “Because Kylo will be there or because it’s dangerous?” you ask.

“Both.”

“Well I’ll be fine,” you assure him.

“You don’t know that.”

“Ok…so what?” you ask. “Like you, I’m a part of the Resistance too. So that means everything we do is a risk. Nothing is going to change that,” you remind him. “Hiding away isn’t going to change that.”

Poe sighs. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, Y/N.”

“By Kylo Ren?” you ask.

“By Kylo…by anyone.” he stops. “Maybe you can refuse. I’m sure The General won’t mind if you do.”

“I’m going to follow orders, Poe…Also I want to do this,” you confess.

Poe is silent for a beat. “If it’s what you want, then fine,” He agrees. “Just promise me you won’t go anywhere near him.”

“I can’t promise that,” you say. Poe opens his mouth to protest and you stop him. “BUT, I can promise I won’t go looking for him.”

“OK. I’ll take it,” he says, satisfied. “Look, I have to go..."

“Yeah, me too.” He then pulls you into a tight hug. You lean into him and you notice Han ahead of you, watching from a distance.

Poe then kisses you and the two of you say your goodbyes.


	5. Something More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a quick flashback chapter. You are at the Starkiller base in the next one.
> 
> If mistakes are found, I don't mind anyone letting me know :)

You first met Poe a year and a half ago. Before then, and after the fall of the Temple, you mostly travelled back and forth between Allaria, your home world and ****Chandrila****. It wasn’t easy to find Leia and the Resistance at first. You searched around and followed whispers about the new Bases’ location for months. Once you had finally arrived on D’Qar and it was confirmed that this was indeed the place, you immediately found Leia and asked her if you could be apart of the Resistance. You wanted to feel useful and you wanted to learn skills that would help you survive whatever came your way. At the time, the first thing on your list was learning to fly a spacecraft. You wanted to be able to transport yourself anywhere in the galaxy, without having to rely on others to get you there. If you were ever in danger and needed to leave the area as soon as possible, not being able to fly would limit your  travel options severely. Leia obliged and let you know she had the perfect pilot in mind to show you what he knew if you were patient enough.

So one afternoon, when you saw her speaking with one of the pilots and glancing over at you, you knew exactly what it meant. You were finally going to start learning how to pilot a spacecraft.

The dark haired man made his way over to you. “So, I hear you want to learn to fly." He was relaxed and straight to the point.

“Yes, sir,” you replied.

“Alright, well I’m Poe Dameron. An X-Wing pilot here with the Resistance,” he extends his hand out to you.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you say, accepting his hand into yours.

“I know,” he said, nodding his head and you remember blushing ever so slightly . “Look, if you want me to teach you what I know… and the General was clear on the fact that she thought I was best for the job… then you have to know that my schedule can be unpredictable and I might not always be available at times.”

You nodded. “Of course.”

“And If I am available, then you must be prepared to train with me at a moment’s notice."

"I can do that,” you assured him.

“Have you eaten lunch yet?” he asked, casually.

“Yes, I have actually,” you confessed.

“Good ‘cuz it looks like I’ve got some free time now. So follow me."

Poe lead you down a few hallways until you reached the hangar. When you got there, you took a look around you, at all the many different space crafts parked inside.

“Which starfighter will we be using?” you asked.

“Mine,” he answered, proudly, nodding towards the one painted black and orange. “ _The Black One._ ”

Poe spent the afternoon showing you all the controls. He even helped you find a notebook at short notice to write it all down.

After a few weeks of spontaneous lessons with Poe here and there, one evening he decided to ask you something that you assumed had been plaguing his mind for a while. You had just returned from flying in a large starship this time and Poe was standing watching you as you shut all its systems down. Once you had finished, you noticed Poe still staring. Still seated, you turned to him, expectantly.

“Sorry, I just have to ask..." Poe began.  "What exactly is so special about you, Y/N?”

‘What do you mean?” you asked, confused.

“Well, for one, you got General Organa to ask me personally to help you out, instead of one of the many other pilots on this base.”

“Oh…”

“The General is pulling favours on your behalf, and you don’t even officially work here yet... You must be pretty damn special.”

You shrugged, but didn’t really answer. “I don’t know…”

“Oh come on,” Poe pressed you. “Don’t be modest. You can tell me.”

You bit your lip, thinking of what believable lie you could come up with to tell him.

Poe continued. “OK, well you weren’t on this base a year ago, I know that much and it didn’t take long after you got here for her to ask for my help so..."

"So..." you repeated.

"So?" Poe chuckled. "Did you know the General before you got here?" He asks.

“Sort of. I'm a family friend.”

“To the Organas. That's kinda awesome," Poe nodded, looking impressed. "See, that wasn’t so hard...And why do you want to be a pilot?”

“Um…” you froze for a moment.

“Relax. I’m not testing you. I’m just curious.”

“Honestly, I just think knowing how to fly is a useful skill everyone should have,” you explained to him.

“Right. That is true," Poe agreed.

“There _are_ a few other skills I want to learn as well.”

“Oh yeah, like what?”

“Just some stuff with medicine...first aid, tending to wounds, etc..." you added. "I just love the idea of being able of helping others. Especially the ones I care about.”

Poe didn't say respond for a few seconds. Wondering if you had said something idiotic, you turned to him. But to your surprise, he was just smiling at you. A pure, genuine, unadulterated smile. You remember the look on his face. Admiration. Respect, but also something more.

 

 

 


	6. Starkiller Base

The four of you take off for the planet, Han nearly killing you all in the process when he lands. After exiting the ship and pulling out a warm jacket, the group starts their journey across the snow, in the direction of the base.

Somewhere deep inside the base, a Stormtrooper guard interrupts Kylo Ren to inform him that Rey has not been found in Hangar 718.

“Put every hangar on lock-down,” Kylo instructs the guard. “She's going to try to steal a ship to es--”

Suddenly, Kylo turns to his left, sensing something familiar.

“Han Solo,” he whispers. “Han Solo and-” he stops. You. He senses you.“Why would he bring her here?”

He quickly takes off to find you both.

* * *

You run across the snowy planet with Han, Chewie and Finn until you approach the flooding tunnels you will use to sneak inside the base. Despite Finn admitting he has no idea how to disable the shields and just came to get Rey, he comes up with an alternative plan. You follow him as he leads you all inside. You just follow the men, and do as your told… partly because you have no idea what you’re even doing…but also because of how tense you are. You are sneaking around in the same general area that Ben is. You could run into him any second. The thought sends shivers down your spine, but for some reason it also leaves you with a tad bit of nervous excitement. Still, the stronger emotion was genuine fear and worry. How will he react if he sees you here? What would he do? Would he kill you all straight away or perhaps take mercy on you? Maybe his father as well. If he did keep you prisoner that means the weapon would be used indefinitely, killing a lot of people you cared about. You can’t think about that now. Ben isn’t here, so you continue on with your mission.

Thanks to Chewie, the group is able overcome one of the Stormtrooper captains, holding her captive, and forcing her to disable the shields. Once you get rid of her, the plan is to continue in hopes of finding Rey and leaving with her as soon as you can.

You stop for a moment to collect yourselves, while Finn starts talking about a plan that involves blowing stuff up. Han gestures to something behind you and Finn.

Finn doesn’t notice at first, but you do. Your turn around and see a girl climbing up one of the base’s interior walls. That must be _Rey_. You know exactly where she is which means, no more searching. You can grab her and leave this place asap. When Finn finally realises what Han was trying to say, all of you follow Finn to where he knows Rey is about to end up.

Once there, you all turn the corner and bump right into her. She is on the defence, right until the point she recognizes who you all are.

“You all right?” Han asks her.

 

“Yeah,” she replies, still a bit shaken.

“Good,” he says, as he moves away from Rey, to keep a lookout.

“What happened to you?” Finn asks her. “Did he hurt you?”

You stay a little behind Finn so you don’t intrude, but the girl makes eye contact with you at one point. She’s probably wondering who the hell you are.

“Finn, what are you doing here?” She asks him.

“We came back for you,” he explains.

“Finn’s idea,” Chewie moans in Shyriiwook. One of the few languages you did know thanks to Ben. You try not to think about it.

“What did he say?” Finn asks, referring to Chewie.

“That it was your idea,” Rey answers softly.

The two of them pull each other in for a tight hug and you smile watching the friends reunite. Finn then pulls away from her slightly. “How did you get away?” he asks.

Oh boy. You start to look towards the floor. You aren't sure you want to hear this.

“I can't explain it. And you wouldn't believe it,” she replies.

“Escape now. Hug later,” Han says to them and they finally release each other.

“Right,” Rey agrees. “Let’s go.”

You start making your way back to the elevator that leads out of here. Once the elevator starts to move, Rey still full of adrenaline, turns to you.

“I’m Rey by the way,” she says, introducing herself.

“Y/N.”

“She’s with the Resistance,” Finn adds all too eagerly which makes you blush a bit.

“Awesome,” Rey smiles at you.

You notice Han stays oddly silent during the whole encounter.

* * *

Once outside in the snow, you can see the oscillator in the distance. Han starts leading you all toward it. It doesn’t look that good for the pilots attacking it. They are taking too much damage. You all watch as an X-Wing engulfed in flames crashes into the snow. It makes you anxious knowing that Poe is flying around here somewhere.

“They’re in trouble,” Han states. “We can’t leave.”

He turns around to face the group. “My friend’s got a bag full of explosives. Let’s use ‘em.”

“OK. How can _we_ help?” you ask.

“You kids stay together, while Chewie and I go to plant the charges in the oscillator. The three of you need to see if you can get the doors to it open from the Junction Station over there,” he points.

Rey nods. “I can do it." You notice her jaw shivering as she speaks.

Finn quickly starts to pull off Poe’s jacket and hands it to Rey. “Here,” he says. She puts on the jacket and thanks him.

“When you guys are done, we’ll meet you here, just outside the oscillator.”

"Got it," Finn says. Rey nods, ready to get to work, but Han stops and looks at you with a concerned look on his face.

“OK?” he asks you. You know that he isn’t asking if you’re OK with his plan.

“Yes,” you assure him.

The three of you start making your way towards the Junction Station.

* * *

The Junction Station is a separate building that can override the opening and closing of doors. Inside, you watch as Rey yanks something from a piece of machinery. Neither you nor Finn question her.

“That should work,” she says. “Let’s go to meet them.”

You venture out into the cold again to find Han and Chewie. The plan was to wait for them outside, but as a group you decide to meet them inside instead, in case they run into trouble.

You notice Rey when she stops to look up at the sky.

The sun is about to set which means the weapon is close to being fully charged. She turns to you, a grim expression on her face.

“Come on,” you say to her.

She nods and you all climb up the ladder to reunite with Han and Chewie.

The entrance takes you to the top of the oscillator where you can look down below and see the complete structure. First you spot Chewie. Then even further below you on one of walkways is Han, and some distance in front of him is… _Oh no_.

It’s **_Ben_**. It has to be or why else would Han delay his plan.

“What is happening?” Rey asks.

“I don’t know,” Finn says. You stay quiet, watching. Surprisingly, you can hear all that is being said down below.

“Take off that mask. You don't need it,” Han says.

"What do you think you'll see if I do?” Ben asks.

“The face of my son,” his father replies.

After a moment, the mask is removed, revealing Ben’s expressionless face.

Is Han really trying convince him to leave the dark side? You think about what that would mean if he did. You take a step closer to the railing alongside Rey and watch intently.

“Your son is gone,” Ben says. “He was weak and foolish, like his father. So I destroyed him."

The three of you watch on as Han walks closer to him. “That's what Snoke wants you to believe but it's not true. My son is alive.”

“No,” Ben shakes his head. “The Supreme Leader is wise.”

Han moves even closer to him. “Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you.” They are now face to face. “You know it's true."

“It's too late,” Ben whispers after a moment.

“No it's not. Leave here with us. Come home.” Han pauses. “We miss you."

“I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain...I know what I have to do,” Ben begins to say. “…but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.” He pauses. “Will you help me?"

“Yes. Anything," Han replies.

Ben drops his mask to the floor and it clanks against the hard metal. For the first time you’re truly hopeful. He unholsters his lightsaber and slowly extends it to his father, who takes a hold of it.

Behind you, the last bit of sunlight fades leaving the place darker.

 Ben still hasn’t let go of the weapon, leaving you to wonder if he might change his mind.

Then, without warning Ben's lightsaber ignites right through Han's chest. Chewie immediately cries out, but you are still too stunned to move.

“No!” Rey wails. She grabs your hand and squeezes.

Suddenly memories flood your mind. Painful and violent. Some you tried to forget. Tears streaming down both of your faces, Rey looks at you with wide eyes. She can’t believe what she just saw. You know it has nothing to do with what has just happened below you. What the hell _did_ just happened? Did she see what you did? Things you didn’t want anyone to know...

You hear the sounds of Chewie attacking Ben with his blaster, bringing him to his knees. The shot alerts the Stormtroopers nearby and they start shooting back at Chewie.

Still dazed, Rey finally lets go of your hand, as the three of you pull out your own weapons to help Chewie take them on. Chewie manages to get away, and the explosions start to go off, almost knocking you back.

You still lose your balance anyway and fall to the floor beside Rey. You watch as Ben looks up, towards the railing where Finn and Rey stand.

Then he notices you, leaning back on the floor, a mortified expression on your face. This cemented the truth to you. He wasn't Ben anymore. How could he be? Ben would never have done what he did. You could now see him for what he was...the murderous Kylo Ren. Despite seeing you, his expression barely changes. He pulls himself up off the floor, saber in hand and trudges forward. He is pissed and you know he is coming after **all** of you.

“Come on,” Rey shouts.

They both reach for you to help you off the floor and you all start running for the exit.


	7. Kylo Ren

“The Falcon’s this way,” Finn shouts, as you run for dear life, through the wintry forest.

Han was gone. Chewie was MIA. The planet would be destroyed soon...You have to get off this place soon, if you wanted to live.

You think it’s possible that you all might make it to the ship in time if you just keep running, but in the distance you hear the sharp sound of a lightsaber crackling.  You all look toward the sound. It's Kylo Ren.

Finn and Rey stop in their tracks. So do you. You know there isn’t anywhere left to run. Cautiously, you all walk toward _him_ to face whatever is next.

“We’re not done yet,” Kylo says.

“You’re a monster,” Rey tells him. You can almost feel the rage radiating off her.

Kylo Ren doesn't miss a beat. “It’s just us now. Han Solo can’t save you.” For the first time, since standing out here, his eyes find yours. “He can’t save any of you.” The way he looks at you, sends shivers down your spine. It's pure hatred in his eyes.

He bangs violently on the left side of abdomen. Blood splatters in the snow thanks to wound Chewie gave him.

“Y/N, I see that you’re silent." Your heartbeat increases when he says your name. "Don’t you have anything to say to me?”

You slow your breathing to respond to him. “Fuck you,” you blurt out. You can barely manage through the tears. How could he kill Han? His own father. You feel like you’re in a horrible dream you don’t know how to wake up from.

“Why are you crying over __him__?” Kylo asks, disgust in his voice. “He wasn’t your father.”

You shake your head thinking of all the horrible things you wanted to shout at him. You hold your tongue as he continues. "Well at least you have the pilot to console you now."

You realize both Rey and Finn are looking at you. Finn’s eyes, full of confusion. Rey - sympathy.

“What is he talking about?” Finn asks, but Rey doesn’t need to ask. She turns back to Kylo, still furious.The breaths she releases, are angry and violent. “Leave her alone, Ren... We know you didn’t come after us to have a chat.”

Kylo laughs a little, but ignores Rey. “These two are angry and clearly want to fight me, Y/N. Do you want to fight me too?” he questions. You don’t know how you feel, but you know you aren’t ready for any type of combat, especially with him.

Suddenly, Rey grabs you by the arms, and turns your body so you are facing one another. “Y/N, you need to get back to the ship,” she says. “If only one of us can make it back, it should be you.”

“No. I won’t leave you guys alone with him,” you protest.

“You have to…try to bring the Millenium Falcon,” she says a bit quieter, as she releases you. "And stay safe."

You turn back to Kylo to gauge his thoughts. _Will he just let you leave?_

“Go, I won’t stop you,” he says. “It’s the two of them, I want.”

You hesitantly start to walk forward towards Kylo Ren, as it is the only way to get past him to the direction of the ship. Still, you try to keep your distance in case he tries to do anything. You can feel his eyes on you as you pass.

“Just remember I’m not finished with you yet,” Kylo adds. It halts you in your tracks.

You slowly turn around to see look on his face, just as Rey raises her blaster, but Kylo uses the force to throw her in the air and against a tree. You are about to run toward her, before remembering her request. The force seems to knock her out. Finn calls out to Rey and runs to her, getting down on his knees. He takes her in his arms, but she is still out cold.

Kylo starts heading towards a kneeling Finn. Without thinking, you run over and grab forcefully onto his saber wielding arm. He stops, and for second, you regret it doing it at all, because in the moment, it dawns on you that you truly have no idea how he will react to it. You don’t know if he will hurt you…

No. He wants to hurt your friend, so you would accept any punishment. You don’t let go of him, but grab him harder. You can tell from his lack of movement, that Kylo Ren was taken off guard by your actions. He never expected you to touch him, yet alone in anger.

But the shock quickly wears off, as it's immediately replaced with vitriol. “You’d really protect _him_?” Kylo asks, looking down at you. He still hasn’t bothered to tug his arm away.

“Yes, I would,” you reply with confidence.

Finn still hasn't glanced up once, as he holds and tries to awaken Rey.

“I guess you would since treachery is in your nature too.” Kylo finally pries your fingers from his hand and shoves you out of his way. It sends you straight to the ground.

“Traitor!” he shouts out at Finn, now ignoring you. Finn reaches for Luke's lightsaber and activates it.

This enrages Kylo. "That lightsaber... It belongs to me!"

"Come get it," Finn eggs him on.

Realizing what is about to happen and that you are defenceless, you think of crawling towards Rey, but then you remember you need to reach the Falcon. You rise from the snow and brush yourself off. It pains you to leave Finn and an unconscious Rey like this, but maybe if you’re fast enough you can get to the ship and come back for them. You weren’t an actual pilot yet, but you still knew how to fly thanks to Poe.

You start running through the snow. Fast. It almost feels as if your limbs are not your own. That some unseen force is carrying you. Your fear perhaps.

You eventually find Chewie just as he is about to take off. He made it out okay. You call out to him and he opens the door for you.

“We have to get to Rey and Finn NOW,” you shout as you run inside.

* * *

 

 

By the time you get to Finn and Rey, Kylo is no longer in sight. You stay inside the ship, as Chewie carries Finn carefully in his arms with Rey following closely behind. Once Finn is lying safe in the ship with Rey by his side, you cautiously approach her as Chewie begins takeoff.

Her eyes lift from her friend once she notices your presence. She waits for you to speak.

“Is he dead?” You ask Rey, cautiously. “Kylo Ren?”

“I don’t know,” she breathes. “The planet was crumbling and I just knew I had to run…had to find Finn. No idea if Ren survived or not and frankly, I don’t care.” She pauses. “Thank you for coming back for us by the way.”

“Of course,” you smile at her. “I would never leave you guys behind.” You wonder why she would doubt you, but you remind yourself that you only just met today.

Rey nods. “Can you stay with him?”

Rey moves to the front of the ship, while you find a seat next to Finn. You glance out a window as the planet disintegrates behind you. A few star fighters follow behind. You see Poe’s and feel relief. You know he’s safe.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have been hoping for a Reader/Kylo fight, but I feel the movie fight was already perfect as is and didn’t want to take anything away from Finn and then Rey’s fights with Kylo.
> 
> A real one will come later though. Maybe....probably. Very likely.
> 
> Sorry about any typos.


End file.
